My Musical Dilemma: Finding the Why
When I first began studying classical music, I found it really difficult to relate to. I’d been doing musical theater and singing for quite some time and loved the challenge of trying to embody a character. But the clarinet had always felt different; as an instrumentalist, I had no idea what I was supposed to feel without lyrics or a plot point prompting me. I was, just as many of my peers, often told what to do and how to shape musical phrases without a further explanation of why that might be the best option. I struggled to find individuality within the study of my craft.
Emmalie performing at the 2021 Banff Centre EvoFest.
Only years later did I realize something wonderful about being an instrumentalist: I could create any feeling, any character, and any story that I wanted. I began coming up with lyrics to concerti and picturing elaborate stories and images until every piece of music I came across played out like a movie in my head. I had never been the most virtuosic in my technique, but this way of thinking transformed my artistic practice. I learned how to find the why for myself while slowly deciphering the hows of capturing the emotions I wanted. Not only did the music feel more relatable to me, but the daunting process of learning repertoire became much more fulfilling.
Upon sharing this strategy with friends of varying musical backgrounds, I saw that they felt it too. My own mother, who had never studied music before or even been an avid listener of the classical style I played, started listening to pieces with me and immediately became excited as we developed plots together. In seeing this woman, who had previously deemed classical music as inaccessible and “not for her,” suddenly so engaged in and connected to the musical process, I knew something even bigger was there.
A clip from our musical storytelling film, Unbreakable, with Emmalie on bass clarinet and Yifei Xu on piano.
By tapping into memories, hopes, or make-believe, we can make very real statements. Think about the last time someone told you a really excellent story - one that had you on the edge of your seat, laughing, gasping, or even shedding a few tears. What was it about that story that was so captivating? Was it where it took you emotionally? Maybe how relatable it felt to be in the moment, hearing the action happening right then and there? Or the way it brought you a little bit closer to the person telling it? Maybe a little of everything…
Interacting with music in this way, listening for an emotional arc and musical narrative, is something that Rebecca and I have since begun to call “creative listening.” It is something that anyone can participate in, whether you’ve studied an instrument for years or are a brand new listener. With creative listening, everyone can be creative, and anyone can use storytelling to help discover their own unique voice. I hope that the process brings joy and empathy in sharing your stories and hearing the stories of others.
More importantly, I hope that creative listening will help to revitalize your relationship not only with music, but also with yourself.
Quick Links:
How can you practice creative listening? Read our blog post about it.
Watch and listen to Emmalie perform in two of our musical storytelling films:
Unbreakable (bass clarinet and piano)
The Treasure Hunters (wind quintet)
